If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
