i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The ass gains better be worth it
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