Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
vagina is talking i cant
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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