He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize