Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
