Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
