This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize