Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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