i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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