i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
