my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
