I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
