what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
