I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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