Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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