Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize