fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
