Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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