I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
In America we eat man semen.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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