HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize