I don't usually arrange sex via text message
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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