One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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