fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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