They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
