Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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