I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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