I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
