Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
