I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
