Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize