does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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