So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
im holly from the hills drunk
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize