I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
