remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize