He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
