and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
