im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
