Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
