yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize