I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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