I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
