if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
