My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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