I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
