the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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