five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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