okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
