one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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