Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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