I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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