did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
