My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
