I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
