Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
