We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
