i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
