so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
