I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
