Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
