FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
