Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
